Is the glass half empty? Half full? Is the glass just too big? Our reality is based on how we perceive events and objects instead of what’s objectively going on. If it rains on your day off that planned trip to the beach probably isn’t a good idea, but you have the whole day to do something else. In many ways, we’re spectators, not participants, in events that happen around us and how we view things from the stands depends on our perspective, according to an article in Lifehack.
Many of us worry too much. It’s a natural instinct to plan, but dwelling on all the possible bad outcomes isn’t going to help the situation. Lawyers are trained to manage risks for clients. They’re supposed to look ahead and make sure there are as many Plan B’s as possible for their clients so if things don’t go their way perhaps the situation can be salvaged through an alternate route.
But we can’t let this be the default setting for our worldview. If you have a flight to catch there are any number of things that could go wrong to prevent you from getting onboard and even impede the plane from getting off the ground. If you wake up late to catch the flight it’s normal to feel nervous, and a bit worried, but if all you do is dwell on everything bad that could happen you’d never get out of bed and the plane would leave without you. You’re late. So what? Just get moving. If you get on the flight, great. If not, get on the next one. It will cost you more money, but you’ll get where you need to be.
As bad as something might be, as much as you may think it’s the end of the world, is it really? What’s making the world suck is your belief that it sucks. Despite how horrible today is the sun will rise tomorrow and tomorrow gives us another chance to do better, to move on from whatever loss we suffer, to learn from our mistakes and do better.
Ending a relationship can cause a lot of pain, but that pain is temporary if you want it to be temporary. Whether we break off a romantic relationship, get divorced or lose of loved one because of age, disease or an accident part of the reason we feel pain is because we’re mourning the loss of a future that we planned on enjoying. But there are no guarantees for our future so don’t mourn the loss of something you never had. Just remember fondly all the good stuff that happened in the past and focus on making today better.
We will feel pain at some points in our lives, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you felt happy all the time no matter what happened to you, you may need to consider seeing a mental health professional. Pain is temporary, and you can choose to dwell in that feeling of sorrow or decide to overcome it.
Many clients have a hard time moving on. They may have suffered the loss of a loved one, suffered a serious injury, a trusted business partner may have done them wrong, or a promising marriage fell apart due to infidelity. It’s only natural in these situations to feel pain, sorrow, and even anger. But a client unable to think about how to make things better today and tomorrow and that only dwells on the injustices of the past may turn down even the most reasonable or even generous settlement offer. You may not have envisioned yourself as emotionally helping people when you were studying in law school, but it may be the most valuable service you provide, and it may be necessary to get your job done.